We've been chastised recently for being unfair and biased when it comes to reporting on how the Conservative "movement" deals with the important issues of the day.
We all know how Conservatives are issue-oriented in everything they say and do...
...and we have to agree that when it comes to those important issues affecting us in today's world that they may have a point.
So in the interest of fair play and the spirit of bipartisanship we present some of the most important ways your Conservative pols deal with the crucial issues of the day, starting with this special meme on how the Conservative wage their War on Drugs...
...and continuing with the way they overcome corporate attacks on the body politic.
And here is one of the ways that Cons combat terrorism...
...while responding to the emotional needs of their supporters...
...and if you're a Conservative, you always remain calm, cool, and collected yourself...
...while seeking compromise during times of disagreement.
Conservatives understand the issues behind the issues...
...and they come up with new ideas as often as possible...
...while using logic and reason to destroy the nay-sayers...
...AND while overcoming objections from objectionable people...
...while never objecting to people telling the truth...
...as they are keeping Conservative economic theories alive and well...
...and standing tall for your most ardent supporters...
...AND continuing on the perpetual attack on presidential tyranny, of course.
Once you get to Congress, being an effective legislator for the People deals with important issues too...
...and explaining to one and all who the worst President ever was is also important...
...and attacking bad guys in our White House is too.
As a card-carrying member of the GOP, you never fear to display your emotions...
...while scoffing at unrealistic projections from the Other Side...
...using your business background to help the economy...
...and answering the questions coming from the mainstream media a.s.a.p.
Monitoring all plots to take away your penises...Oops, we mean pieces...is important too...
...and making sure that the terrorists don't get you is even more important.
And finally, choosing all of your issues wisely! Because a wise President if better that a mean and greedy one.
********************
There are other reasons besides stupidity and bigotry that people vote Republican, of course.
Some voters are greedy and mean.
Some are insane.
And most of them don't mind supporting a criminal cartel that is anti-democratic, steals, lies, kills, and deceives as long as they tell you how "godly" they are.
With all of this staring at us day in and day out, it's WAY past time to...
...criminalize Conservatism!
