Is this how the NRA defends pushing guns on our kids?
"Nation Debates Extremely Complex Issue of Children Firing Military Weapons."
![Photo: Nick Anderson, The Houston Chronicle]()
"WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Across the United States on Wednesday, a heated national debate began on the extremely complex issue of children firing military weapons.
"'Every now and then, the nation debates an issue that is so complicated and tricky it defies easy answers,' says pollster Davis Logsdon. 'Letting small children fire automatic weapons is such an issue.'
"Logsdon says that the thorny controversy is reminiscent of another ongoing national debate, about whether it is a good idea to load a car with dynamite and drive it into a tree..."
Let's take a look at some of the deep thinkers in the Gun World...
"In gun world, giving an Uzi to a child makes perfect sense."
![Parents let their little girl handle an Uzi; a man ends up dead]()
"Sam Scarmado, the owner of the Bullets and Burgers outdoor shooting range in Arizona, went on TV Wednesday to stress how perfectly safe his recreational facility is, despite Monday’s accidental shooting death of one of his instructors at the hands of a 9-year-old girl with an Uzi. That, and many of the other things he said in an MSNBC interview, reveals just how weirdly the values of the gun world skew from the world in which most Americans live.
"A cellphone video of the shooting shows the instructor patiently helping the slight, brown-haired child to hold and aim the automatic weapon and shoot live bullets at a target. She takes one shot and all is fine, but when she squeezes the trigger for multiple bursts, the girl cannot handle the recoil, the gun bucks to the left and a bullet goes into the instructor’s brain..."
But this was just a glitch in policy, and the owner of the shooting range fixed everything up nice and dandy...
"After 9-year-old fatally shoots instructor with an Uzi, gun range raises age minimum to 12."
![Photo: Tom Stiglich]()
"First, the bad news.
"The Good News: Tragedies can serve as teachable moments. And that’s exactly what we see here. You see, before this death, the age minimum at the Last Stop shooting range was 8. I think we can all agree that that’s ridiculous. Especially when operating an Uzi. But now, a change has come. The age minimum is now twelve years old. And, as if that’s not already radical enough. the minimum height is five feet. Seems a little sizest and ageist to me, but safety first, I guess..."
And what blessed sacrament can we find at the altar of the Gun World?
![Gun worship is America's true religion]()
But the NRA will make sure that parents keep their kids armed at all times...
"Five of Cliven Bundy’s Grandkids Pulled From School Because They Can’t Bring Weapons to Class (Video)."
![Photo]()
"If you thought you’d never hear this man’s name again, you were mistaken. Five of Cliven Bundy’s grandchildren were pulled from their Clark County, Nevada schools because of a ban on bringing knives on campus.
"After officials at Virgin Valley High School in Mesquite told Ryan Bundy, Welfare Cowboy’s son, that his 15-year-old daughter was not permitted to bring her pocketknife to school because Clark County School policy prohibits weapons on campus, Bundy pulled his children from school.
"Bundy disputes the claim that knives — sharp, pointy metal objects — are weapons, and explained to administrators that he has always taught his children it is essential to always carry one with them..."
And as long as kids have good role models around them, nothing bad will happen...
"30 SHOOTINGS IN 28 DAYS IN THE CITY OF FRESNO."
![Photo: Milt Priggee's WA State Political Cartoons]()
"FRESNO, Calif. (KFSN) -- There's been 30 shootings in 28 days in and around the city of Fresno. Police are concerned as two children were innocent victims in two of those incidents. There's also been an increase in homicides, as this year has already surpassed last year in numbers. Officers say what they can't track is the number of shootings they've been able to prevent.
"Since January there's been just over 30 murders. The most recent was near Florence and Weller in front of King Elementary in Southwest Fresno. One man was killed and a teenager was wounded. Police Chief Jerry Dyer says they generally attribute the increase to gang retaliation..."
If we teach our kids gun safety, everything will be peachy keen...
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Won't it?
![Photo: Bill Day]()
![]()
The NRA is a progressive outfit and just when you thought you had their number when they misinterpreted the Second Amendment, they outsourced their message to our children to keep murders by gunshot alive.
Conservatives love the NRA, and with the all the money that the NRA throws at the GOP it's obvious that the NRA loves Conservatives too.
The whole issue might come to a standstill if somehow we regulate or eliminate campaign spending so that anti-American criminal syndicates like the Conservative "movement" and their corporate sponsors and think tanks can be eliminated from politics...
...or we can just criminalize Conservatism.
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"How many have to die before we will give up these dangerous toys?"
Stephen King, Guns.
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"Nation Debates Extremely Complex Issue of Children Firing Military Weapons."
"WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Across the United States on Wednesday, a heated national debate began on the extremely complex issue of children firing military weapons.
"'Every now and then, the nation debates an issue that is so complicated and tricky it defies easy answers,' says pollster Davis Logsdon. 'Letting small children fire automatic weapons is such an issue.'
"Logsdon says that the thorny controversy is reminiscent of another ongoing national debate, about whether it is a good idea to load a car with dynamite and drive it into a tree..."
Let's take a look at some of the deep thinkers in the Gun World...
"In gun world, giving an Uzi to a child makes perfect sense."
"Sam Scarmado, the owner of the Bullets and Burgers outdoor shooting range in Arizona, went on TV Wednesday to stress how perfectly safe his recreational facility is, despite Monday’s accidental shooting death of one of his instructors at the hands of a 9-year-old girl with an Uzi. That, and many of the other things he said in an MSNBC interview, reveals just how weirdly the values of the gun world skew from the world in which most Americans live.
"A cellphone video of the shooting shows the instructor patiently helping the slight, brown-haired child to hold and aim the automatic weapon and shoot live bullets at a target. She takes one shot and all is fine, but when she squeezes the trigger for multiple bursts, the girl cannot handle the recoil, the gun bucks to the left and a bullet goes into the instructor’s brain..."
But this was just a glitch in policy, and the owner of the shooting range fixed everything up nice and dandy...
"After 9-year-old fatally shoots instructor with an Uzi, gun range raises age minimum to 12."
"First, the bad news.
- A nine-year-old girl was learning how to use an Uzi sub-machine gun, when she lost control of it and wound upfatally shooting her instructor in the head at the Last Stop shooting range in White Hills, Arizona.
- Her parents filmed it on their cell phone.
- Charles Vaca, 39, is dead.
- A nine-year-old girl will be psychologically scarred for life because she witnessed the death of a man she killed accidentally.
- Parents will be psychologically scarred for life because they witnessed their nine-year-old daughter kill a man, accidentally, because they thought this was an age-appropriate activity.
- People think that kids should learn how to use Uzis.
- The shooting took place at a combined fast food restaurant and firing range.
- A combined fast food restaurant and firing range exists.
- The tour company that brings people to the range is called Bullets and Burgers.
"The Good News: Tragedies can serve as teachable moments. And that’s exactly what we see here. You see, before this death, the age minimum at the Last Stop shooting range was 8. I think we can all agree that that’s ridiculous. Especially when operating an Uzi. But now, a change has come. The age minimum is now twelve years old. And, as if that’s not already radical enough. the minimum height is five feet. Seems a little sizest and ageist to me, but safety first, I guess..."
And what blessed sacrament can we find at the altar of the Gun World?
But the NRA will make sure that parents keep their kids armed at all times...
"Five of Cliven Bundy’s Grandkids Pulled From School Because They Can’t Bring Weapons to Class (Video)."
"If you thought you’d never hear this man’s name again, you were mistaken. Five of Cliven Bundy’s grandchildren were pulled from their Clark County, Nevada schools because of a ban on bringing knives on campus.
"After officials at Virgin Valley High School in Mesquite told Ryan Bundy, Welfare Cowboy’s son, that his 15-year-old daughter was not permitted to bring her pocketknife to school because Clark County School policy prohibits weapons on campus, Bundy pulled his children from school.
"Bundy disputes the claim that knives — sharp, pointy metal objects — are weapons, and explained to administrators that he has always taught his children it is essential to always carry one with them..."
And as long as kids have good role models around them, nothing bad will happen...
"30 SHOOTINGS IN 28 DAYS IN THE CITY OF FRESNO."
"FRESNO, Calif. (KFSN) -- There's been 30 shootings in 28 days in and around the city of Fresno. Police are concerned as two children were innocent victims in two of those incidents. There's also been an increase in homicides, as this year has already surpassed last year in numbers. Officers say what they can't track is the number of shootings they've been able to prevent.
"Since January there's been just over 30 murders. The most recent was near Florence and Weller in front of King Elementary in Southwest Fresno. One man was killed and a teenager was wounded. Police Chief Jerry Dyer says they generally attribute the increase to gang retaliation..."
If we teach our kids gun safety, everything will be peachy keen...
Won't it?
********************
The NRA is a progressive outfit and just when you thought you had their number when they misinterpreted the Second Amendment, they outsourced their message to our children to keep murders by gunshot alive.
Conservatives love the NRA, and with the all the money that the NRA throws at the GOP it's obvious that the NRA loves Conservatives too.
The whole issue might come to a standstill if somehow we regulate or eliminate campaign spending so that anti-American criminal syndicates like the Conservative "movement" and their corporate sponsors and think tanks can be eliminated from politics...
...or we can just criminalize Conservatism.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"How many have to die before we will give up these dangerous toys?"
Stephen King, Guns.
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